Saturday, June 27, 2015

By Flamen Antinoalis Antonius Subia

HOW different the world can be in a matter of 3 hours. 
Last night I stayed up until about 5am after watching The Normal Heart. I've been avoiding this movie for a long while because I knew that it would break my heart and make me very angry, which is exactly what happened only stronger and deeper than anticipated.

A whole generation of beautiful gay men wiped off the face of the Earth. And these were the Very Best of us! The strongest, proudest, most free gay men who had ever lived, the ones who stood up and fought for us at Stonewall. Can you even imagine what the world would be like now if they had lived! Why did they have to die?!

Why am I alive and they are all dead?

That old deep question cane back to haunt me again...the big questions that crush my heart and make my soul bleed deep down.
I found it hard to go to sleep last night,
It brought everything I believe about Antinous into stark new focus,
What he means, 
Why he has come back to us again after so many centuries.
It reminded me of how serious this is
How important it is to serve as his priest
With all my heart and soul.

I went to sleep for a few hours and awoke to a whole new world.
Just earlier last night Hernestus asked me to translate the title for a post about how Antinous has blessed us with equality...he said he wanted to have the post ready, just in case.
And now we are Equal! 

This is the Dawning of a New Age!

I wish I could offer the joy and celebration of this day to all the men who died of AIDS
because they died for this,
they hoped and prayed for this
And now it is here..
It belongs as much to them as to us.

But the greatest joy is when I think of all the kids, the little boys and girls and trans who will never have to live in a world that hates them or makes them think that they are less than everyone else because they are gay. The battle is far from over, perhaps its only just begun...but for now, for them there is
No more fear no more shame!
Love always conquers!

Thank You Antinous
...I Love You Antinous

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