Wednesday, October 31, 2012


ANTINOUS the mortal is dead. Antinous the God is born!

The New God Antinous Liberator, sets us free with a wave of his hand. 

He destroys the bondage that holds our immortal spirit prisoner to the cycles of life and death, as the chains of time and matter fall of their own accord.

In benediction, Antinous Liberator confers the flame of Homotheosis upon the hearts of his chosen lovers so that we may indulge and burn in the ecstasy of being One with HIM.

We are free from the masquerade of the spirit in this world of illusion, we are unclothed before him. 

From his lips we drink the winged intoxication of the flesh and abandoned all reason and logic at his feet.

Antinous stands upon the crescent of the Moon. He passes through the Arches of the spheres, the 7 Archons bow down before HIM.

The god-power of Antinous shines over the face of darkness. The Spirits of the Dead awaken to dance as the wine of freedom flows down into the spider-heart of Tartarus.

The festival of Antinous Liberator, the New Dionysus, is the place from which life comes and all love-joy with the ever-present specter of Our Lady death by its side.

On this day, October 31st, we surrender ourselves, body and soul, to the joy of Lord Liber, and join in the festival of Halloween, spreading the Love and Liberation of Antinous to the world of the living and the dead. This is the second day of the Ecclesiastic Year.


IN the early morning hours of Halloween day in 1993, River Phoenix died outside the Viper Room on Sunset Blvd.

He had ingested a fatal combination of alcohol, marijuana, cold medicine, a component of speed, heroin and valium. He was 23 years old.

His Dionysian indulgence caused him to collapse, convulse and then suffer cardiac arrest within a matter of moments. 

He was dead when he arrived at Cedars Sinai Hospital only some 45 minutes after taking his heroin.

He was one of the most beautiful people that the world has ever known, an Adonis of our time, an amazing actor and musician, whose films will forever immortalize his memory. 

One of his last roles was as a gay, drug-addict, prostitute in My Own Private Idaho, and it is said that his work on this film had such a profound effect on his soul that he was never again free from it.

He had not only turned to the use of heavy drugs, which he had before scorned, but he is also rumored to have taken up homosexuality, which he did not deny. 

Indeed the sensitivity and depth that he brought to the tortured prostitute, searching for love, is an intimation of the inner beauty and darkness of understanding that River Phoenix possessed. 

He had only just been chosen to play the role of the poet Arthur Rimbaud, another Saint of Antinous.

For his achievements in the cinema, for the abandonment of letting the dark god take over his life, and for the sorrowful tragedy of his death, which he embraced fully, almost prophetically, we name the spirit of River Phoenix among the blessed Saints of Antinous, because he was a living Dionysus, and because his final day on earth was the day that the Holy City of Antinoopolis was founded. 

It is fitting that such a beautiful creature as St. River Phoenix is the first Saint of the Ecclesiastical Year.

Tuesday, October 30, 2012

The Deification of Antinous

October 30th, Year of Antinous 1882 (2012)

In the year 130 of the Present Era
During the 13th year of the Reign of
Our Divine Emperor Hadrian Augustus,
In the 270th Olympiad,
884 years after the Foundation of Rome,
1882 years ago, in Egypt , on the River Nile,
Near the ancient city of Hermopolis ,
At a bend in the river called Hir-Wer,
Antinous Fell into the Nile and Drowned.
The Egyptian priests were the first to declare
That Antinous had become a God.
So it was that on this day, October 30th
Of the year One Hundred Thirty
Hadrian founded the Holy City of Antinoopolis
As Pontifex Maximus...our Divine Emperor Hadrian Issued a Sacred Proclamation
To the Senate and to the People of Rome
That Antinous had arisen to the Order of the Gods.
Hadrian decreed that Temples and Sanctuaries
Should be erected throughout the Roman world,
And that Statues and Images should be crafted
In the beautiful likeness of Antinous the God.
Hadrian inaugurated a New Religion
And New Priesthood
To serve and perpetuate the Veneration of Antinous,
So that his memory will endure for all eternity.
Sacred Games of Antinous were celebrated
In honor of Antinous the Hero.
Hadrian declared that a new star
Had come into being for the very first time
Which was the Spirit of Antinous
Taking his place among the Celestial Beings
A new constellation was drawn,
Which was named for Antinous of the Heavens.
In Honor of the New God Osiris-Antinous
The Nile miraculously inundated the sacred banks
And flooded the fields of upper and lower Egypt!
This is the True History of Antinous the God
Who lived and died and was deified.
For whom a Sacred City and Temple
Were raised in the desert of Egypt ,
Antinous the God of the Gays
For whom a Sacred Cultus has been proclaimed.
On these Sacred Nights,
We who believe and exalt in Antinousv Renew our devotion and faith in HIM.
Our god was a living human being
Born in the ancient province of Bithynia
Antinous was the Favorite and Beloved of Hadrian,
Together they hunted the Mauritanian Lion.
While traveling through Egypt
Antinous fell into the Nile and drowned,
He entered the sacred water as a boy
And descended to the Kingdom of the Underworld
Where he stood before the gods who rule over the dead.
And was transfigured by the mystery of Homotheosis.
Antinous arose from the sacred water as a god.
On This Sacred Night,
We exalt in the Deification of Antinous the God
Who ascended to take his place in the celestial sphere
Among the never-ending stars, for all eternity,
Through whose death and deification
The salvation of all his people was accomplished.v On This Sacred Night we commemorate the Foundation
Of the Sacred City of Antinoopolis
And we celebrate the 10 year anniversary
Of Ecclesia Antinoi.
We ask that Antinous watch over his people
And that he confer upon us his sacred blessing
And that he open our hearts to the power of Homotheosis
This is the foundation upon which
The Cult of Antinous stands,
In these truths we place our faith,
That the memory of Antinous
Shall endure for all Eternity.

Flamen Antinoalis


Flamen Antonyus Has Placed a Shroud
Over the Sacred Bust of Antinous
At the Hollywood Temple of Antinous
(To Be Removed When Antinous Emerges Triumphant)


ON this day we commemorate the founding of the Sacred City of Antinous, the rich and glorious city in Egypt called ANTINOOPOLIS originally and later Ansena and Antinoé.

Our Lord Hadrian Augustus, Emperor of Rome, Pontifex Maximus, the New Jupiter, Hercules reborn, consecrated the shore of the Nile where Antinous fell, and solemnly founded the Holy City of Antinoopolis in Egypt in the year 130 CE
(watercolor painting of the city by French archaeo-architectural artist Jean-Claude Golvin).

Antinous had risen again from the depths of Tartarus, he had conquered death and returned to the place of the living.

By Victory and Proclamation, Antinous was elevated to godliness, and the ancient religion of Our God was set in motion. The Priesthood of Antinous was ordained, sacred statues and images proliferated, and Temples rose up in every corner of the world, for the glory of Antinous the God.

We exalt in the deification of Antinous, and marvel at his assumption into heaven. 

On this day we concelebrate the Foundation of Antinoopolis by re-founding the sacred city within our hearts, declaring ourselves the New Stones of Antinoopolis. 

With love for Antinous in our hearts, the New Temple of Antinous was founded in 2002, called Ecclesia Antinoi, and the New Priesthood of Antinous initiated.

We recognize the Foundation of Antinoopolis as the first day of the New and Holy Year of Religion of Antinous.

Monday, October 29, 2012



NEVER a day of celebration, not really a day of mourning...mostly, for me, a day of evening to take a good long, reflective ritual bath. 

To sit back in the water and let my mind drift off to the place where Antinous is...somewhere deep inside myself, somewhere far across the galaxy, on the other shore of the cosmos, a place outside of time...the outer darkness between here and the Dark Star. 

From the very beginning, when I first began to take Antinous worship seriously, like twelve years ago...the very first act of devotion that I can remember was to take a spiritual bath in contemplation of Antinous.  At a meaningful point, well into the ceremony, once the halllucinogenic effects of the hot water have taken hold...I bow down before Antinous...and then plunge my head under the water, symbolically drowning myself in devotion to Antinous.

This year will be different however...I have alot to think about deep down...

But unlike years before, this time I will add a few drops of water from the Canopus pool at Hadrian's Villa.

I have a tiny piece of Marble from the bathhouse at the Villa, where Antinous himself might have bathed...which just simply blows my mind away. 

I know that 19 centuries have passed since Antinous took a bath there...the wind and rain and sun have cleaned away any trace of Antinous-molecules that might have once clung to my little chunk of marble...but having stood the presence of his beautiful, sacred statues...I can say now that time is meaningless...Antinous is immortal...his presence will never fade from the stones...his presence will never fade from me, for having touched him...and for having been touched by HIM.

Death is meaningless...we just simply go away...

I don't believe in the concept of heaven or an after life is merely a comfort of illusion for those who cannot bear to gaze into the heart of darkness.

The Barque of Millions of Years is not an after-life...the Dark Star is not a heaven or a place to which our souls go for all eternity...

When the notion first came over me (during a bath ritual)  I thought it was the after-life (4REAL!)...that we would spend eternity partying on a magnificent pleasure ship, with Antinous and all the gay saints and all the gay priests and all the gay worshippers of Antinous...that we would all be together again forever and ever.

But over time, as my awareness openned to deeper levels of consciousness...the darker truth became more and more clear...more and more certain, despite my better wishes, it became undeniable...that the Barque of Millions of Years as a metaphor for Death is a journey to the Dark Star, a celestial concept that nolonger exists...except within our hearts...just like Antinous...who is right here within us...but the moment we try to take hold of him...he slips farther and farther away...drifting into the darkness of the outer cosmos...forever gone.

One day we will be like he is...and there is nothing to be afraid of...we will reach out and take his hand and enter the darkness.

So put away all thoughts of an afterlife, put away your hopes and dreams of eternal existence ...

There is no need to hold these illusions anymore...the truth is far more beautiful than the poets or prophets have ever claimed.

The truth for me is in ANTINOUS.

This religion has been the greatest thing that ever happened to me.

I can see him being pulled lifeless from the Nile...I can see his hair and his profile with cyrstalline-clarity...sparkling before me...

The image has grown more and more vivid over time, as if a fog were slow parted and there he is right before me, almost within me.

I can feel the pain of Hadrian screaming out...I can feel the wound that struck Hadrian's heart...sinking deep into my own heart.

As much as I love Antinous, and treasure all that I have learned from him,
I would rather that he had not died, I would rather that he had gone on to live a long, long  life,
grown old and ugly, withered and grey, fat and broken down...and finally lied down in the dust and died an old, old man.
I would rather that he had seen more of the world, felt more of the pain of existence, and taken more of its joys.

If Antinous had not fallen into the Nile...we would have never known of him, (or each other for that matter)
There would never have been a Gay God...there was nothing to (really) compare to him before,
And there wouldn't have been another one afterward.

Were it not for Antinous...I would have continued in a world of illusions,
It was Antinous who broke me of my was never an easy thing
And I still struggle deep down with the question of "why did I believe in so much bullshit for so long?!"

I will never be free, I don't want to be free of the struggle anymore...there's no peace of mind anywhere to be found.

Antinous is Dead...he will always be Dead...

There's no Peace in that.

Flamen Antinoalis


ANTINOUS is dead. Hadrian is weeping over his limp body on the banks of the Nile where his beloved perished in late October of the year 130 AD.

While mourners wail in the world of the living, Antinous descends into the Underworld. The modern Religion of Antinous commemorates this descent into the Egyptian Duat on October 29th.

Flamen Antonyus Subia says:
Antinous is embraced by Osiris beneath the water of the Holy Nile, and he is given over to Hermes-Anubis and led into the underworld.

He appears before the Lords of the scale of Maat, but his spirit is divine and the scales crumble at his touch.

Hermes-Anubis escorts Antinous into the Hall of the Queen of the Dead, Persephone, and because he is a witness of the Mysteries of Eleusis, he obtains from her the pomegranate of immortality.

The immortal spirit of Antinous does not taste death, and he is given to drink of the fountain that restores memory because he has learned from Orpheus that he is from the Earth but is a Child of the Stars.

Antinous conquers death and returns from darkness. At midnight Antinous the God arises from the Nile and steps onto the shore from which he fell. The spirits of the entourage of Dionysus attend his resurrection and he is reborn as the New Osiris-Dionysus.
In the Religion of Antinous, this is the last day of the Ecclesiastic Year, it is spent in darkness and in solemn devotion.

As Antinous journeys through the underworld, we confront the weakness of being without our god, we reflect on the passage of the year, and on the influence of Antinous upon our lives, and we pray for the triumph of his return. 

At midnight, a pure candle is ignited to symbolize the deification of Antinous Our God. 

Sunday, October 28, 2012


ON October 28 the Religion of Antinous commemorates The Death of Antinous.

Near the village of Hir-wer, Antinous fell into the Nile and drowned.

There are those who believe that he was murdered, or that he willingly gave himself over to human sacrifice to prolong the life of his beloved Hadrian, or that his death was the suicidal effect of teenage melodrama, or that is was merely an accident, but there is no way to know, no way to be certain.

Grief-stricken Hadrian only said he "plunged into the Nile" but never elaborated on the circumstances of the death of his beloved.

Flamen Antinoalis Antonyus Subia says:
We priests of Antinous do not take a definite position and leave the matter as an unknowable mystery. The manner in which Antinous died is not important, only the effect that his death had upon the world has significance.

On this day, we solemnly and silently mourn the Death of Antinous whom Hadrian loved and for whom he wept, and we sorrow for the loss of such great beauty at so young an age.

We pray for the Bithynian boy who died so far from home.

With his death, our religion was set in motion.

We lament and exalt in the grief of Hadrian that was so strong and so powerful that it spread to the whole face of the world, and affects us still today.

We pray also for all those homosexuals who have died in youth as a consequence of repression, we mourn the suicides, and commit them to the soothing arms of Antinous, who was assumed into the Nile for all of us.

It is one of the great ironies of history that, by dying dramatically, a young person who was unremarkable except for his beauty became irrevocably bound with the most powerful man in the world. 

Emperor Hadrian proclaimed Antinous a God. He established a city on the bend of the Nile where the young man died — Antinoopolis. 

He named a constellation in the heavens after Antinous.

And without gentle Antinous at his side, Hadrian became an embittered and broken man. He became capricious and at times cruel. A reign which had been marked by Hellenistic principles of tolerance descended into bloodshed.

It is indeed remarkable how one young man, a commoner with no wealth or political influence, changed the course of history simply by dying. And the thousands of statues sculpted on orders of grieving Hadrian became the iconic image of Classical beauty — the last deity of Ancient Greece and Rome.

Antinous fell into the Nile, beneath the swirling waves, but when his body was pulled from the water ... a God emerged. Antinous is our God, he has accomplished the salvation of all lovers of his beauty. His is our salvation. He is Antinous the Gay God. He is the last pagan God of Classical Rome.

For centuries, he was worshiped in secret by gay men who were afraid to worship him publicly. Men such as Oscar Wilde and Walt Whitman sang his praises. When the Nazis marched into the offices of gay-rights advocate Magnus Hirschfeld in Berlin, they smashed a ceramic wall relief of Antinous which Dr. Hirschfeld had set in a place of reverence over the doorway.

And now, in the 21st Century, the "Most Great and Good God" (as he was known among his followers) is being discovered by a whole new generation of people seeking gay spirituality. 

We dedicate our lives and our souls to fulfilling the Divine Hadrian's command to establish the Religion of Antinous for all who seek gay spirituality. We dedicate our lives and our souls to serving Antinous the Gay God.

Saturday, October 27, 2012



ANTINOUS would see only one more sunset and sunrise on this date in the year 130 AD. And after that final sunrise, he would never see another sunset ...

On October 27th Antinous and the Imperial entourage were in the ancient city of Hermopolis, the Sacred City of Thoth/Hermes during the celebration of the Death and Resurrection of Osiris.

We believe that the spiritual forces of this occasion, and the Mysteries divulged to him by the Hermetic priests of the god Thoth, were the inspiration for this ascension into godliness.

The Passion of Isis and Osiris was played out annually in Ancient Egypt and formed the cornerstone of the Egyptian belief system, a belief system which taught that you could die horribly and tragically and yet you could be revived and restored and in fact you could become a god.

Sacred players acted out the roles of Osiris, his murderous brother Set and his faithful consort Isis. It was through the magical spells contained in the fabled "Scroll of Thoth" that Isis brought Osiris back from the dead.

Antinous had seen at OXYRHYNCHUS just how potent the magical spells of Isis were.

The festival of Osiris celebrated at Hermopolis and observed by Hadrian and Antinous commemorated the rending of the body of Osiris and the searching of Isis for each of the parts.

We believe that something of a cathartic nature happened within the soul of Antinous at Hermopolis just before he plunged into the Nile on the opposite bank across from Hermopolis.

We will never know precisely what happened. Did Antinous get a glimpse at the fabled Scroll of Thoth? Did some Egyptian magician-priest teach him a bit about spellcasting? Did Antinous perhaps believe that he could use a spell to prolong Hadrian's life?

The Egyptians believed anyone who drowned in the Nile would become "a deified Osiris". Some Egyptian magical spells call for the magician to "deify a scarab beetle" -- which means to drown it in Nile water and thus make it sacred and magical.

We will never know for sure what happened as a result of the ceremonies on October 27th, the last day and the last sunset of the brief mortal life of Antinous. The sun would rise on October 28th and, although the mortal Antinous would die, there would never be another setting of the sun for Antinous the Gay God!


Like Osiris, Antinous descended into the Nile, and arose to bring the blessing of eternal life to the world. The Religion of Antinous, like the body of Osiris was scattered over the face of the world, and we who worship him, are like Isis, gathering the fragments together again.

Hermopolis was the last city that Antinous ever saw, and the Passion of Osiris was the last religious ceremony in which he took part. Certainly it was here and at this time that an Awakening occurred, dark in its implications, causing Antinous to relinquish his life.

But it was of splendid power in that, from the death of the boy, a god emerged. We observe that in Hermopolis, the scattering of the body of Osiris was the moment when the sperm of the blessed one was planted in the immortal spirit of Antinous, Our God.

The Sacred Nights of Antinous begin tomorrow ....

Friday, October 26, 2012


THE city of Antinoopolis was so wealthy that residents buried their dead in a "second skin" of precious gold leaf, turning each mummy into a veritable golden statue, according to a new documentary film.

People who lived in the city, also called Antinoé, during the hey day of the religion of Antinous routinely covered every square inch of the skin of their dead loved ones with precious gold leaf. Even lips and eyelids were lovingly sheathed in gold by the embalmers during the mummification process.

As the Religion of Antinous waned and was replaced by Christianity, the gilded-skin practice went out of fashion, but was replaced by shrouds of the most exquisitely embroidered linens and ornate Byzantine jewellery.

The amazing revelation comes from a stunning new French documentary film entitled LE MYSTÈRE DES MOMIES COPTES D'ANTINOÉ (Secrets of the Antinoé Coptic Mummies) which aired this week on the French-German cultural TV network ARTE.

Antinoopolis became renowned around the world in 1896 when the French archaeologist Albert Gayet began exploring the vast necropolis burial grounds south of Antinoopolis. An estimated 40,000 mummies were buried in the Antinoé necropolis.

Gayet's crews worked day and night unearthing hundreds of mummies representing all social classes and historical epochs. 

To his utter astonishment, many of the mummies were gilded, many were swathed in priceless woollen wraps and others wore Byzantine jewellery and headdresses.

He returned to Paris, where the most exquisite mummies were put on display at the Louvre, attracting throngs of visitors and spawning a "Coptic Craze" throughout Europe and America. 

Antinoopolis embroidery and linens inspired Matisse, Renoir and the leading Paris fashion designers, who incorporated the rich colors and designs into their work.

But the craze soon waned. The mummies were packed away in storage, most of them to disintegrate or become lost. Gayet died at age 60, impoverished and embittered after having spent 20 years of his life trying to raise funds for further exploration of Antinoopolis.

Gayet's dream of a "Musee d'Antinoé" in Paris died with him.

One hundred years later, at the end of the 20th Century, experts discovered that only 39 of Gayet's mummies had survived the rigors of time. For the past 15 years, the experts have studied these mummies to unlock the secrets of Antinoopolis.

What they have found is proof that Antinoopolis was a very rich city from its founding in 130 AD up until the Islamic onslaught in the 7th Century AD. 

"All of the mummies indicate a very high standard of living," says Louvre Chief Curator Yannick Lintz. "They had had a healthy diet during their lives and had no indication of having had stunted growth or chronic illness. We knew that Antinoé had been an important city, but now we have proof that it was very prosperous indeed for 500 years."

The film provides never-before-seen footage of efforts to restore the famous Basilica of Antinoé by an Italian team of archaeologists headed by Rosario Pintaudi.

As the cameras roll, Pintaudi and his crew raise a column at the Basilica to the upright position where it originally stood at least 1,700 years ago. The column had been in pieces and represents the turbulent religious history of the Sacred City.

The base of the column is a stone with incised reliefs from the time of Ramses II in 1400 BC. The column itself has an inscription honoring Emperor Hadrian from the 2nd Century AD. And graffiti chiseled onto the upper parts of the column dates from the Christian era in the 5th Century AD.

"The history of Antinoopolis is the history of using existing stone buildings to build new structures. Each new religion re-used stone from monuments to earlier religions," says Pintaudi.

"Antinoopolis was a major center of religious thought in Egypt for at least 500 years, and the vying religious sects and groups variously lived, fought and coexisted with each other all of that time," says Pintaudi. "It was and continues to be a very extraordinary city indeed."

Thursday, October 25, 2012


THESE are the sacred homosexuals whom we solemnly nominate for consecration to the Sainthood of Antinous,
May Antinous bless them and give them a place upon his Sacred Barque of Millions of Years,
And may they watch over us, inspire us, and bring us closer to the fulfillment of Homotheosis.

Antonyus Nicias Subia
Flamen Sarcedos Antinoalis

Joseph Christian Leyendecker(March 23, 1874 – July 25, 1951) artist

Pre-eminent American illustrators of the early 20th century. He is best known for his poster, book and advertising illustrations, the trade character known as The Arrow Collar Man, and his numerous covers for The Saturday Evening Post.


Grand Duke Constantine Constantinovich of Russia – (August 27, 1858- June 15th, 1915)Romanov

 Bisexual cousin of Tzar Nicholas I - Godfather of Tzarevich Alexei

"KR's first homosexual experiences occurred in the Imperial Guards. The Grand Duke made great efforts to repress his feelings. But despite his love for his wife, KR could not resist the temptations offered to a person of his exalted state. KR claimed in his diary that between 1893 and 1899 he remained away from the practice of what he called his "main sin." Yet by the birth of his seventh child, KR had become a steady visitor to several of the male brothels of St. Petersburg. In 1904 he wrote in his diary that he "ordered my go, and continued on foot past the bath-house. I intended to walk straight on... But without reaching the Pevchesky Bridge, I turned back and went in. And so I have surrendered again, without much struggle, to my depraved inclinations." The cycle of resistance and capitulation to temptation is a common theme of KR's diaries.[1]
By the end of 1904, KR became somewhat attached to an attractive young man by the name of Yatsko. "I sent for Yatsko and he came this morning. I easily persuaded him to be candid. It was strange for me to hear him describe the familiar characteristics: he has never felt drawn to a woman, and has been infatuated with men several times. I did not confess to him that I knew these feelings from my own personal experience. Yatsko and I talked for a long time. Before leaving he kissed my face and hands; I should not have allowed this, and should have pushed him away, however I was punished afterwards by vague feelings of shame and remorse. He told me that, ever since the first time we met, his soul has been filled with rapturous feelings towards me, which grow all the time. How this reminds me of my own youth." A few days later, KR and Yatsko met again, and a relationship developed between the two."
Lozen – (c. 1840-1890) Apache Warrioress

Lesbian Apache warrioress, sister of Victorio, Holy woman who fought with Geronimo, was with his final band of warriors when they surrendered.
"Lozen had no concern for her appearance and, even though she is seen in several famous photos of
Geronimo with his warriors, there is nothing to indicate that she is a
woman. You would never spot her. She was very manly in her appearance,
dressed like a man, lived and fought like a man. She never married, and
devoted her life to the service of her people, to the very end."


Daniel Zamudio –(August 3, 1987- March 27, 2012) martyr

25 year old boy killed by Chilean Neo-Nazis

Manuel Acosta -( May 9, 1921-October 25, 1989) Painter from my neighborhood in El Paso
He is only known for having painted the iconic portrait of César Chávez for a 1969 Time magazine cover
He was brutally murdered by a 20 year old boy who was living with him,
who had been his model...and more.  The boy confessed:

"I was drunk and I couldn't stand it anymore," Najera said. "I just kept thinking of what he did to me and I just had to kill him. I'm not a homosexual. I have a wife and 2-year-old son."  Najera told authorities Acosta was standing in his studio watching television when he hit him once in the head with a hammer, and that he struck him three more times after Acosta went down. He said he then stabbed Acosta in the heart with a screwdriver to make sure he was dead.
He will be a very meaningful Saint of Antinous for me...because he opened whole new world of art when I was very young.  I always thought of art as something people did far away in Paris or somewhere.  In my neighborhood they painted the Virgin Mary and low-riders and Aztec warriors...but that wasn't art...right there next to the gang graffiti and a crudely drawn dick squirting sperm on some tits.  Art was something that people in Europe painted on canvases.  Manuel Acosta changed myperspective...because he lived about a quarter mile away
Right when he was murdered, they released prints of his work, and my mother bought the full set for me,
it was my first real introduction to walls were covered with Manuel Acosta paintings,
I had no idea that it would mean so much to me later.  Hard to find any of his paintings oniline.

"Manuel Acosta always used to wear a paper-bag hat. Father Arturo Banuelas, who led the prayers at Manuel’s funeral said then, "Today his paper hat is a crown of glory."  Some interesting facts about Acosta’s funeral that I read: He was buried with what he called his Mexican-Italian-Pajama shirt, wearing his trademark paper hat, with a can of Budweiser beer in his hand (his nephew placed it there)."

Kenneth Weishuhn Jr. - (April 15, 2012)teen suicide

Beautiful Gay Suicide victim

Gad Beck- (30 June 1923 – 24 June 2012) last gay Jewish Holocaust survivor

Chavela Vargas- (April 17, 1919 – August 5, 2012), singer
She drank heavily, carried a gun and wore a big red can you not love a heroic lesbian such as this! 

"I've never even been to bed with a man. Never. That's how pure I am; I have nothing to be ashamed of. My gods made me the way I am." - Chavela Vargas(she actually said gods!)
One of her famous songs, which was written by her friend and drinking partner, the prolific Mexican singer-song-writter Pedro Infante, could be the song that Antinous might have dedicatedto Hadrian on the last night of of his life, after they had had one of their fights, and Antinous had finally had enough of Hadrian's bullshit, and being an overly emotional teenager, decided that the only option was to throw himself into the Nile.

No Volvere

Cuando lejos me encuentre de mi,          When you find yourself far away from me
Cuando quieras que yo este contigo,       When you want to be with me,
No tendras un recuerdo de mi,                You will no longer have a relic of me,
Ni tendras mas amores conmigo.            Neither will you have anymore love with me.

te lo juro que no volveré,                          I swear I will never return,
Aunque me haga pedazos la vida,            Even though my life falls to pieces,
Si una vez con locura te ame,                  If once I loved you passionately,
Ya de mi alma estaras despedida.            Now you've been dismissed from my soul.

No... Volveré.                                         I will never return
Te lo juro por Dios que me mira,              I swear as god is my witness
Te lo digo llorando de rabia,                     I tell you weeping with rage
Yo no volveré.                                         I will never return

No... Parare                                            I won't stop
Hasta ver que mi llanto ha formado,           Can't you see that my tears have taken form
Un arrollo de olvido anegado,                    An Arroyo (water scar) of forgotten inundation
Donde yo tu recuerdo ahogare.                 Where your memory I have drowned

Fuimos nubes que el viento aparto,            We were Clouds that the wind parted,
Fuimos piedras que siempre chocamos,     We were rocks that always collided
Gotas de agua que el sol reseco,               Droplets of water that the sun dried away
Borracheras que no terminamos.               Drunken wildness that never ended

En el tren de la ausencia me voy,             On the train of absence I will leave
Mi boleto no tiene regreso,                       My ticket cannot be refunded
Lo que quieras de mi te lo doy                  Whatever you want of mine you can havePero no te devuelvo tus besos.                 but I will never again return your kisses

No... Volveré                                           I will never return
Te lo juro por Dios que me mira,               I swear as god is my witness
Te lo digo llorando de rabia,                     I tell you weeping with rage
No volveré.                                             I will never return

No... Parare                                            I won't stop
Hasta ver que mi llanto ha formado,           Can't you see that my tears have taken form
Un arrollo de olvido anegado,                    An Arroyo (water scar) of forgotten inundation
Donde yo tu recuerdo.... ahogare.             Where your memory I have drowned

Wednesday, October 24, 2012



TABLOID headlines screamed that Nero's mother's head has been found, or at least the head of a statue of Empress Agrippina the Younger three decades after it was stolen from the ruins of Pompeii.

But outraged archaeologists have now issued a statement denying that any serious authority had ever made such a claim about the head. Instead, it is clearly a molded clay head and not a finely sculpted head of the far more beautiful Empress Agrippina the Younger.

The Office of the Superintendent for the Archeological Heritage of  the Region of Emilia-Romagna refuted news reports that its experts had identified the terracotta head recovered by police in Piacenza as Agrippina Minor, or that archeologist Roberta Conversi  had done so at a press conference.

Initially, police officers said, "The head is probably a portrait of Agrippina Minor, also known as Julia Agrippina Augusta, mother of Emperor Nero."

"Based on initial examination carried out upon arrival," the Superintendent added, "we believe the head belongs to a statue of baked clay, modeled in a mold. The statue might have represented a worshiper, and have been destined to a sanctuary as an offer, or else it belonged to a temple pediment.

"It can in no way be identified with Agrippina Minor, nor with any other female member of the imperial household. Its appearance, in comparison with similar findings, ascribes the sculpture to cult-related production dated between the 2nd and the 1st Century BC. At the moment, the head seems not to be compatible with the Vesuvian area of production (translator's note: Pompeii, Herculaneum, etc…)."

It seems to fit in, instead, "with the late Republican Era terracotta statuary produced between the end of the 2nd and the beginning of the 1st Century BC in the area of Latium-Northern Campania, but available also across the Latin colonies."

Only a closer exam of the material – the note continues – through a study of clay, intrusions, and soil still present inside the artifact, "will allow us to establish once and for all the area where it was produced, and to pinpoint the exact place of its discovery."

Police said the terracotta head had been hidden for years by a dentist in Parma, who couldn't sell it because it was too famous a theft. The head was recovered after the 62-year-old tried to sell it through a 36-year-old antiques dealer from Piacenza, who accidentally alerted police as he tried to find a buyer.

Both men have now been charged with receipt and possession of archaeological treasure.